As a therapist, clients often come to see me because they feel stuck. They feel stuck in a job, or their career no longer satisfies them. Clients may have difficulty fully engaging in meaningful relationships. They tell me that they feel like they’re going through the motions of life. They feel anxious or worried.

We all get stuck at times but if this is a persistent theme in your life, you might be living in a state of functional freeze, a term coined by psychologist Peter Levine. I see many seemingly high achieving individuals who are in a state of functional freeze. These clients often share that their ability to feel joy and peace are muted. They feel anxious, worried, numb and lack true vibrancy, have trouble concentrating and struggle to connect with their creativity.

What is functional freeze?

Freezing is a coping mechanism designed to protect us. When we’re under threat, our primitive defences of fight, flight or freeze kick in to protect us. We’ll either fight physically or verbally, or we’ll try to escape. Both our fight and flight responses are active defences, whereby a near-instantaneous sequence of physiological responses and hormonal changes helps us to either fight the threat off or flee to safety. When we can’t fight or flee, however, either because we’re too small, overwhelmed, or incapacitated in some way, our body goes into freeze mode.

Examples of situations that can lead to a state of freeze include a child not having their physical or emotional needs met, a victim of abuse, or a victim of an accident or natural disaster. One feels trapped and helpless, unable to flee or fight and as a result, will freeze.

This defence strategy will likely affect you later in life since the nervous system gets locked into a state of freeze. In trauma, the freeze response becomes a much bigger and more visceral experience. When a person is in freeze mode, they will shut down, dissociate or split, thereby allowing them to continue to function in the environment of the threatening situation. However, with these strategies, energy becomes trapped in the body. While the person won’t remain physically paralyzed, they may experience physical and emotional symptoms, such as difficulty focusing and remaining present, numbness, anxiety or depression.

4 tips to help you get unstuck

While I strongly recommend working with a therapist that works somatically (body-centered) to help you get to the root cause and to help facilitate the reengagement of your fight and flight response, especially if you have experienced trauma, here are four ways you can begin to explore on your own.

1. How has being in a state of freeze served you? The freeze state is a defence mechanism, so at one time its purpose was to keep you safe. Make a list of how it has kept you safe. For example, standing up for yourself may not have been safe for you when you were a child. One of your parents may have had a temper or was emotionally unavailable for you.
2. Where are you still living in a state of freeze? While freeze mode once kept you out of harm’s way, chances are it’s no longer serving you. Let’s say that you were raised in an environment where you felt unsafe to speak up. How has that experience impacted your life? Do you feel confident to stand up for yourself and fight for what you want? Are you willing to state your needs to others? Do you feel anxious and shy away from attention? Look at your life now: where and how are you still living in a state of freeze?
3. Examine your belief system. Exploring your belief system is important as it impacts your behavior and attitudes. Do you believe the world is unsafe, and others are not to be trusted? Do you feel as though it’s safer to keep yourself small and not visible to others? How have your experiences that have kept you in a state of freeze impacted your belief system? Are there aspects of your belief system that are holding you back?
4. Reengage your fight mode. To get unstuck, it’s crucial that you engage your fight mode. If speaking up is intimidating, acknowledge the feelings and ease your way into it. Start by speaking up in less threatening environments, for example around people you trust. Build up your tolerance for the uncomfortable feelings that arise, and develop your confidence. Because our fight or flight response is a physiological reaction, it’s vital that you involve your body in the process. You’ll want to get your adrenaline going. You can go for a run, lift weights or play a team sport to further activate your fighting state.

Feeling stuck can be frustrating, but know that this feeling may not just be in your head, you may be physiologically stuck. Go ahead and start with the above suggestions today and let me know if they help you get unstuck.